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19 October 2015 @ 02:36 am
Infinity - fanfiction.  
Title: Infinity
Pair: None, a tiny bit of Yabu-Inoo. And actually this is a Yabu-centric fanfic, so, yeah.
Genre: angst
Rating: PG
Warning: unbeta-ed. Hint of mentally-ill Yabu. And I don’t even know what kind of fanfic is this;;;
Summary: And now I’m one step closer to being two steps far from you.
Disclaimer: idols belongs to J&A Entertainment. Infinity by One Direction.
— the state or quality of being infinite—

Eight years ago, when I finally got to debuted. I had been inquiring everything. I still didn’t know which direction this group will heading, what would made us special—diverge—from any National idol, what would bound us until the end of our career, would we even sell, are there anyone who would bought our CDs/DVDs or came to our concerts, or will we even be okay and survive the years with this scattered members I don’t even know that well except Hikaru.

It felt like they had given me a big task of this uncalled leader just because I’m the oldest and the most victorious junior at that time. That means, I need to take care of these nine people while I’m also in charge of taking care of my own future which no one ever been care to spend a second of their time to paid attention on it. I was forced to handle these things, I was forced to postponed my urge to study at college. Well, no one forced me to, though, but the situation is. From then on, I worked really hard guiding them one by one from the most simple mistake like wrong moves on dancing until the bigger problem like identity problem when they were on their rebellious age. It felt like rising a group of baby deer, just so you know.

But now, my deer could stand up on their feet. Walking away one by one from my comfort zone. Leaving me behind after all of my hard works rising them.

It was one September morning, when we have recording schedule for our new single キミアトラクション.  I found a pretty bob-haired man sitting and reading the script for today’s recording—my dearest deer. The only one I hope would never walk away from me. The only one I hope would be the base of my fragile foundation.
I sat down next to him which followed by his greeting and smile. As I took off my outer clothes, I took a peek at his script. There’s so much line colored with blue, much more than any colors in the script. Aren’t they supposed to be red? So this blue-image member will be the one who got to be promoted now. Who is this blue——
“Yabu. Oi, Yabu.” The younger called me out of the blue. I look at him just to struck by the truth that he is the blue. Inoo Kei’s member color image is blue. “You okay? You look perplexed.” No—not you. Anyone but you. Don’t go away from me. Don’t abandon me. Tell me you are not the one who—
“So, Inoo-jidai is still going on, huh?” I stupidly forced a smirk. Cursing at myself for saying the title he hate the most. Cursing on myself more when I saw his eyes flinched with anger and disappointment.
“I trusted you. And, you’re welcome. I don’t need the changes.” With my heart falling to abyss, I saw him walk away from me.

And now I’m one step closer to being two steps far from you. When everybody wants you.


It was begun with ten. Ten people. Ten adolescent boys. Ten is a great number. You can divide it equally by two. And ten was also the gravitational acceleration standard value—it was actually nine point eighty one meter per second quadrate to be exact, but then again, ten was a great number. And also ten means sky. God knows half decade later after 2007, ten will become nine. Kyuu. We have been casted down from ten. We were like fallen angles. Too bad it’s kyuu, not ryuu. Because, becoming dragons weren’t as bad as becoming fallen angels. Beside, Ryuu was the name of my youngest deer, the victim of entertainment world. We finally become the real gravitational acceleration value, nine. The rest of zero point eighty one? It was the value of Ryuu’s presence in our—and the fans’—soul.

Will Newton mind if I make it eight? Because I’m going to cast myself down, deeper than the earth surface. Burying myself from the entertainment business. Erasing my existence from idol history. The reason was simply I keep on falling when I know it hurts. It’s like I’m frozen, but the world still turns. Stuck in motion and the wheels keep spinning around. Too bad people are tend to romanticizing my problems. I never really counted how many times I tried to stand back again. But if I did tried to count, I know it would feels like infinity and I had enough already.


[1]. I refer to many Yabu-related translations here. And all of them were translated by @skysj.
[2]. It turns out too gloomy… and Yabu doesn’t even Yabu anymore sobs. This is my first time writing something other than assignments and reports after years. The words didn’t come out in the halfway through. But I don’t know when to post this if this doesn’t done today. So yeah, I made my way. But this is still a trash fic.. I'm spamming the feeds. Sorry;;;
[3]. “…..people are tend to romanticizing my problems.” This refers to Yabu’s mental illness, depression. AND people really should STOP romanticizing mental illness. Mental illness isn’t a joke, one could self-harm until the point they could commit suicide.
[4]. Ten in Japanese means heaven/sky. Ryuu means dragon and kyuu means nine.
[this was actually a Yabu-fan blabber.]
[5]. I don’t hate Inoo. In fact, I worship yabuinoo. That’s the reason why I feel this way. Some people even called yabuinoo shipwrecked and I can’t help but feeling insecure…
[6]. This actually reflects my feels towards now-decreasing-job of Yabu. Whenever I remember his aim to make many people listen to his singing and then he didn’t have that much lines anymore—it breaks my heart.
[7]. I’m sorry for the physics-things. I just miss when my life was as easy as watching apples falling from the trees….
Mood: rejectedrejected
Music: Infinity - One Direction
f e r i i n ♪: inoobu ♥ 1riinsomnia on October 19th, 2015 05:40 am (UTC)
thank you for writing such beautiful fic, imo.
actually we're having same thoughts on yabu and... inoo as im an inoo biased. your fic just perfectly written bc i've been thinking just like what you have wrote about those two stupid boys because i cant writing fic lol

it's not spam at all. i love this one as my first fic after around 2 years i never read ybin fic anymore <3
siklomika: his smile: pricelesssiklomika on October 20th, 2015 08:14 am (UTC)
Never thought someone would read this crappy fanfic;;;
Thank you for dropping by!
I thought I'm the only one who feels this broken when everyone else is having euphoria;;; but I never thought that a Inoo bias will agree with me. I'm happy for Inoo, but I don't want him to change. I hope he won't.

Once again, thank you sooo muuch! I feels so honored <3
f e r i i n ♪riinsomnia on October 20th, 2015 09:55 am (UTC)
BECAUSE YOU'RE ON MY LIST and it's yabunoo.. and angst.....

well, it'll be crappy for anyone didn't have same stupidthoughts like us tho. many friends doesn't really care about it but i do. it's so weird you to watch/hear yabu's part lesser since smart. i do blame his stupid girlfriend scandal at the first place *even i'm happy at that time AHAHA*
i never told this to anyone but yeah seems i'm the only inoo biased who's not happy with his popularity recently i'm proud yet irritating seriously. i'm afraid he'll change bc of his image as je frontmen(?) for now but i hope, he won't.
still believe it's just tentative bc jump needs some position refreshment (even there's no one who can change yamada, daichan, chinen and yuto position anyway) hhh. this group still need yabu's voice. they can't sing at all.

sorry i'm blabbing here instead ;; i'm too glad there's someone having same thoughts with me when the other inoo biased don't.

you are welcome ♡
siklomika: yabu: childishly pricelesssiklomika on October 24th, 2015 09:15 am (UTC)
Well I guess no one else in this fandom have the same thoughts as us? Because I bet no one ever read this except you XDD
Are we two in a millions? Lol.
But is this really because of his girlfriend scandal? I'm happy too when the scandal spreads. Because it's a prove that Yabu isn't gay HAHAHA
I'm happy Inoo is a frontman now, he really deserve it. but I still can't accept the fact that they cast Yabu aside while everyone is moving forward :"""

No problem! I'm surprised tho, that an Inoo-biased still care this much about Inoo and moreover Yabu :"3
nikenyk: inoopoutnikenyk on May 28th, 2016 04:48 am (UTC)
This is so sad ;/////////////;

The fic is beautifully written and you deliver the feeling just right, ugh my heart is breaking apart. Thanks for writing this piece. May Yabu got his spotlights back, and everyone got their works in equal :""))
siklomika: nezushisiklomika on June 4th, 2016 01:13 pm (UTC)
Thanks for reading!

I'm sorry to break your heart ;;_;; and, amen! But they got equal part in majisun B side songs, I guess? Even though Yabu's part in Maji Sunshine is only one line lol